You Lose Face By Dropping Word Bombs, While You Win Respect By Pausing
How aware of yourself are you to realize what you say, how you react, or how you respond?
Hello out there - in a rushed world,
Here comes your weekly permission slip to Un-rush and Slow Down.
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You Lose Face By Dropping Word Bombs, While You Win Respect By Pausing
How aware of yourself are you to realize what you say, how you react, or how you respond?
There is no time to first think, then talk. Right? That’s how it is these days. We are all rushing to move quickly. Too often than not, we're too impulsive and spontaneous with our thoughts, comments, remarks, interjections, and advice. How aware of yourself are you to realize what you say, or how you react, or how you respond?
Independent of place, topic or profession, you have daily the opportunity to work on your self-awareness.
Why would you want to do that? Because it makes you a better leader, teacher, parent, partner, or citizen. Because, when you develop a greater depth of self-awareness, you position yourself to engage in clearer thinking that helps you to master yourself and your emotions.
How do you do that? By slowing down.
Now, let’s clarify what kind of self-awareness I am talking about here.
There is self-awareness, and there is self-awareness.
In this piece, I am looking at self-awareness in the following sense:
Being aware of how you comport yourself
The way you react to other people and situations
Being aware of the words you use and your tone of voice
Knowing how much you listen to the other person
Be aware of your audience or your team
Live events like conferences, seminars, or inspirational gatherings offer a good opportunity to observe human interaction and behavior, the dynamics between the people, and the emotional energy unfolding in the air.
Here are some moments I observed at my recent educational photography gathering with several workshop instructors and various courses. As a professional trying to share your knowledge and teach or train people in a workshop or at a conference, you can easily get carried away with all the input you want to convey. You’ve got the long-term experience, the skills, and the insights you intend to share, but you need to create little bites that are understandable for the audience and that take them from A to B. You also wish to show respect for the many different personalities and skill levels in your audience or your team. But that is not always easy.
When you train a soccer team, you pay attention to the different skill sets and performances of the players and give general constructive feedback to the group. On a one-on-one level, you can comment and critique specifics on what you want the person to improve or change. On a group level, you guide the team effort toward a united outcome. Similarly, when you teach art, crafts, or photography, you consider each individual’s skill level, leave them room for their creative ideas, and instruct them on how to translate an idea into a work of art.
You want to praise in public and critique in private.
You adjust your speech and wording accordingly. We easily rush to voice our opinion, to critique the others, or to volunteer with advice. Instead, we can apply self-awareness while teaching, training or giving a talk. How do we do that when all eyes and ears are on you? The easiest and best way is to slow down.
Pause, evaluate, then talk
You can actually win more hearts by pausing rather than rushing to blast out your first thoughts.
Once again, slowing down doesn’t mean being slow; it just means pausing a minute or more to sort your thoughts before doing, reacting, or talking. Pausing gives you the chance to become aware of yourself. Where am I emotionally (was I just about to overreact, defend, burst out, or rant)? Am I reacting according to who I want to be and according to my values? Am I getting carried away with my opinion without respecting the other’s time, privacy, or level of engagement? These sound like big thoughts for just pausing a tiny moment to catch yourself. But it’s that small space in between that makes the difference. It’s that space of a moment—where you take a breath, hold off, notice micro-energy parts bouncing around, and gain situational awareness – that helps you to be self-aware. The more you “practice” this, the more it becomes second nature.
Be aware of yourself before you act
Slowing down just a little can change a lot. And very often, the small, thought-out moments are the ones that make all the difference in winning trust, nurturing a relationship, and building respect and appreciation. Being self-aware before we act, of how we feel before we vocalize it, of why things might be unfolding the way they are before rushing to judgment, can make a big difference between empathy and discrepancies.
“External self-awareness is about understanding yourself from the outside in—that is, knowing how other people see you. Because externally self-aware people can accurately see themselves from others’ perspectives, they are able to build stronger and more trusting relationships. Those low in external self-awareness, on the other hand, are so disconnected with how they come across that they’re often blindsided by feedback from others (that is, if others are brave enough to tell them).” – Tasha Eurich
Self-awareness is the secret weapon of some of the highest-performing people you see, admire, or even meet. And you can get there by slowing down.
“Self-awareness and self-love matter. Who we are is how we lead.” – Brené Brown
Interesting INSIGHTS I found
Curated articles/links on the topic of slowing down and living better
MINDSET SHIFT
Too Many Adults In The US Lack Motivation And Focus
A study by Headway Reveals that lack of motivation and focus impedes over 4 in 5 US adults at work
Do Not Mess With The Very Old And Their Gangs
The very old have seen over and over that most things will be okay as long as we’re tender with each other. Listen, and you will hear from them the exquisite chime of life. - By Anne Lamott
LIFESTYLE WITH AWARENESS
the essence of retirement is moving from that, the things we think of when hearing the word “retirement”, to something more dynamic, and more energetic. Especially for women. More work in some capacity, either part-time or consulting. More board work, more volunteering, more going back to school. More starting businesses and prioritizing passions. More travel. (Lots more travel.)
There is a difference between being a workaholic and being a hard worker
Work ‘addicts’ have more health complaints than work ‘enthusiasts’ who have almost no health complaints. The “workaholic” label doesn’t apply to people who put in long hours because they love their jobs. Those people are considered engaged workers. The growing consensus is that true workaholism encompasses four dimensions: motivations, thoughts, emotions and behaviors
She turned 115 by leading a simple life and staying busy and has this message
Francis’s advice to living a long life at age 115 is the same as it was last year at 114: “Speak your mind and don’t hold your tongue.” “Elizabeth Francis is America’s grandmother, beloved by her family and community and admired worldwide. Her story is about faith, fortitude and family more than it is about longevity.
Thanks for reading and sharing — so more of us embrace to slow down