This. Is How You Celebrate Your 90th Birthday.
A real-life case study with 7 secrets on how to age gracefully with joy and energy
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This. Is How You Celebrate Your 90th Birthday.
A real-life case study with 7 secrets on how to age gracefully with joy and energy
You might think being invited to a 90th birthday party is a boring thing you want to escape from. Far from it. I just came back from a 90th birthday party in Milan and am exhausted from all the dancing, singing, eating, drinking, talking, and having fun. The 90-year-old birthday girl was full of energy, surrounded by friends, children, and grandchildren, and she rocked the party.
Italians know their songs, no matter what age, everyone was singing the lyrics, clapping, and swinging their arms - it was so much fun to watch. Of course, as always at Italian celebrations, there is lots of good food and wine.
I sent pictures of this wild party to my two closest girlfriends, and we agreed that this is how we want to celebrate our 90th birthday – after all, we know each other since elementary school. A question came back: What is her (and all the others') secret to being so full of energy? And to have such a party going on?
I was able to get a good idea of the secret by looking at this party and remembering many previous ones I had the honor to attend. But let me tell you right away – these are no secrets. These are NORMAL aspects of life, which these days are not considered normal because our society today is so warped and distorted that we look at sleep, vegetables, using our legs and taking breaks as new magical inventions. They are not. These and all the other hyped behaviors were normal in the past, the lack thereof made us sick, and now we re-discover them as the new saviors of a healthy long life.
Let me share the 7 non-secrets of living well and long:
1. Family or community: Extended family/community living
2. Friendships: Having and caring for a good circle of friends
3. Enjoying life: live, care, embrace, and dare
4. Mediterranean food: Italian cuisine, wine and home cooking
5. Being active: having hobbies and projects
6. Being curious: curiosity, enthusiasm, and digital access
7. Movement: walking, dancing, gardening, exercising
Quick interlude: The Blue Zones in the world
These aspects sound similar to the longevity research insights you might know from the Blue Zones, the 5 unique communities around the world that were identified as having people aging happily and healthy for up to 100 years. The identified 9 longevity aspects include: Natural movement, purpose, downshifting, 80% rule (stop eating when 80% full), Mediterranean diet, wine at 5 pm, belonging/faith, loved ones first, find the right tribe.
Here are the 7 non-secrets I identified in this Italian family – a real-life case study:
Family: Extended family or community living
The way we live today has changed from the concept many decades ago where the extended family was living under one roof and were like a small community helping each other. The Italian birthday lady has 4 kids and 5 grandchildren and, with one exception, they all live on one large property (each family under their own roof). This might sound weird to our current day lifestyles of living and working globally.
In many countries, we have a problem with loneliness because we don’t take the time anymore to care for our friends and family or to build friendships. Belonging is important. Our sense of being part of a community is an essential part of our lives and a key factor for feeling happy, energetic and valued. We can create communities with friends, neighbors, some family members, no matter where we live, and it is an important contributor to our well-being.
Friendships: Having and caring for a good circle of friends
This 90th birthday party was not only with family members but also included many friends. Certainly, at that age, some friends might no longer be around. But the friendships that are still around, you want to care for, maintain, and have fun with. No matter what age, you want to cultivate friendships. Our Italian birthday lady had friends at the party from all stages of life. The friends also knew the children and grandchildren, and they were all dancing and singing together.
For me, friendship has a high value in my life. But I understand that we witness these days a decline in social connectivity, and it has grown so severe for example in the United States that loneliness was declared a serious public health threat. That link to health is among the findings of an ongoing major Harvard study on adult development and happiness. What they found out is that people who are “socially fit” aren’t just happier but stay healthier and live longer.
Enjoying life: Live, care, embrace, and dare
Everyone at this birthday party had so much fun. Three generations singing and dancing together – what more can you say than that this was a celebration of life.
To express some thoughts on enjoying life, I turn to Coach George Raveling, 86. He quotes his professor because this sentence stayed with him all his life: "Nothing in life is of any value unless you can share it with someone." This was certainly a feeling I had at this wild birthday party.
Mediterranean food: Italian cuisine, wine, and home cooking
This was an Italian birthday party, and Italians love their food. And their coffee. And their wine. It has been proven that the Mediterranean diet can lower your risk for heart disease while also adding up to six years to your life expectancy.
This cuisine includes plenty of vegetables and olive oil, some fish, smaller amounts of dairy and meat products, and moderate amounts of alcohol. Another aspect is home cooking. Many of the family members in this Italian family enjoy cooking, and this is also how the next generation of the birthday lady was raised. They take time for cooking and cooking, eating with the family or extended dinner evening with friends is a pleasure that is cherished.
You can find a link to 12 Mediterranean meals from the Blue Zones recipes, based on the diet of some of the Blue Zones communities, in the INSIGHTS section below (paywalled).
Being active: Having hobbies and projects
Staying active is an important factor for longevity, living long and healthy. This Italian mother turning 90 stayed active all her life. Besides working and raising 4 children, she participated together with her husband in social life, skiing, and dancing, getting regularly together with friends, and traveling.
A lifestyle in pursuit of longevity includes physical activity. Incorporating movement into your daily routine, whether it's walking, gardening, or participating in group activities. By participating in group activities with family and friends, one can engage in physical activity and thus cultivate a sense of belonging and emotional well-being.
Being curious: curiosity, enthusiasm, and digital access
Being curious keeps your mind awake and aware. And being curious makes you interesting to others. The birthday lady is very curious, wants to know and understand what the grandkids are studying, keeps up with the news, and discusses current affairs. She is curious about traveling, and her past journeys to other cultures gave her so many travel stories she is sharing now with interested listeners. Her curiosity and enthusiasm for various topics make her an interesting conversation partner.
Curiosity is such an important ingredient for life. It makes people interesting. It makes you age well, and it keeps you going and contributing.
Movement: walking, dancing, gardening, exercising
The birthday girl’s husband is 96. He couldn’t swing his dancing leg anymore, but until some years ago he was still going with his wife to their weekly dance club, or traveling, or working in his garden including tending some chickens. Many years ago, when he was in his late 70s, he showed me how to ski down a steep hill. My husband took pictures of him climbing a ladder in his 80s, cutting the leaves of a big tree.
Some people love sports and exercise, so they naturally have the desire to move their bodies. It’s not about forcing yourself to some fitness studio or workout if that is not your thing. Just remember that we used to move naturally. Become aware of it and include it in your daily life. Walk the stairs instead of taking the elevator, and walk to your colleague’s office instead of phoning. Enjoy lifting, pushing, and moving stuff around the house or work, without having to pay a trainer to tell you to lift, push and move those weights.
Keep the energy rolling
This micro-cosmos family has, for me, become one great example of the Blue Zone concepts and living your life to the full. The family, including a large circle of friends, are a supportive, well-aging community — who is dancing together across generations at the 90th birthday party of an Italian mother full of energy and sparkling eyes. I am so grateful and glad that I got to go to this wonderful party and learn the 7 ways of living longer.
More LINKS and FURTHER READING on Longevity, Happiness in the INSIGHTS section below (»» behind paywall)
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