What Will People Say About You When You Are Gone?
What Will People Say About You When You Are Gone?
You can use the following method to craft a life on your terms.
What will people say about you when you are gone? How do you want to be remembered?
I am part of a small online business group with a very inspiring group of people. We help each other with ideas, input, and information regarding work, building a business, entrepreneurship, or work-life balance.
Here is the saddest news our group had to face so far. One of our members just passed away.
Everybody felt that he was a wonderful contributor, a force of ideas, and a lateral thinker, offering different perspectives on matters discussed.
Fellow members of our business group wrote their tributes.
He was a wise and generous soul who touched others with his kindness and his ideas.
He was a true philosopher, never content with the status quo, always looking out for new possibilities. His perspective on things was refreshing, eye-opening, and profound.
He had the extraordinary ability to live in the present and, at the same time, to care deeply about the future.
I think we can all agree on this is a great set of characteristics.
Does it matter?
When I’m Gone, Who Cares What They Say
In hindsight, this gives us an idea of what kind of person Mike was and how he pursued his life and work.
Now, you might think why do I actually need to care what people will say about me? I am gone…I won't hear it anyways. So, is it even important?
If you are interested in who you are, who you want to be, and who you become, it might be of interest to you.
Considering the example of Mike and how people feel and think about him. Perhaps there are a lot of interesting and intriguing descriptions people connect with you that might give you a picture of the person you aspire to be.
You can use the following method to craft a life on your terms.
Start At The End
It is helpful to pause once in a while and reflect on who you are and where you are on your life path.
The idea to take the perspective from our final destination and take a look back from that point of view is familiar to us from projects, work, or any activity aiming at the desired outcome. We look at the goal and go backward to today to figure out the timeline, checkpoints, and action steps to reach that goal.
So why not apply this to our life?
What kind of person do you want to be or become in the future, so you feel satisfied and happy with yourself?
Think about your future self. Then return to the present and look at the steps and changes that are required to become that person.
Mike shared a thought with us in one of our online business group conversations: “What is the goal for the future? Does anyone know it or is it just emerging? Find your goal and pursue it. It will be right. Size does not matter in your world.”
Ask Yourself 6 Tough Questions
If it were all over tomorrow, could you say that you are happy and satisfied with your life?
Do you think you walk as yourself?
We have different roles in our lives. We are a daughter, a father, a boss, a colleague, a sister, a neighbor, and a leader. With each role, we feel, act, and develop differently. In all these different roles you walk differently. It is certainly not easy to simply walk as yourself. Can you do it?
Do you love yourself?
What kind of person do you aspire to be? What are the values and principles you chose as your guiding stars?
What do you fear?
Can you imagine seeing the future as something flexible, something available to influence?
The Infinite Game
Some years ago, Mike was the major force in creating a Future Manifesto together with other members of the business circle.
One of the statements in the manifesto speaks volumes.
“Join the infinite game and become a compass and a guiding star.”
Write Your Life
Write your eulogy as if you hit 85 and look back on your life.
Own it. Love it. And ask yourself if this is a life you would look back at and think: this is cool!
Maybe this all sounds a bit too wacky and scary for you.
What is the alternative?
Keep bouncing around with no agenda and keep wondering who you are.
For some people that might be enough. Why not?
You might be one of those looking for more.
And you might believe in mastering your own destiny:
“I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.” – from the poem Invictus by William Ernest Henley (1849
BOOK Recommendation
The Cafe on the Edge of the World: A Story About the Meaning of Life – by John Strelecky
In addition to the specials of the day, the cafe menu lists three questions all diners are encouraged to consider: Why are you here? Do you fear death? Are you fulfilled?
With this food for thought and the guidance of three people the hurried man meets at the cafe, he embarks on a journey of self-discovery. Along the way, he discovers a new way to look at life, himself, and just how much you can learn from a green sea turtle.
The Big Five for Life – by John Strelecky
When a young protege learns his friend and mentor is dying, he returns to spend the final months of his life with him. Through their profound and inspiring discussions, we learn the importance of embracing who we really are and the factors that truly determine a successful life.
Told in the context of what it means to be a great leader, this story will forever enhance the way you look at your purpose in life. Because as the protege learns, we’re all leaders. Even if the only person we’re leading, is ourselves.
Very nice article Claudia. Great great questions!! Thank you.