You Are Probably Terribly Afraid Of Slowing Down
You Are Probably Terribly Afraid Of Slowing Down
Because our obsession with speed makes you an addict with little room to escape
You are exhausted, you are overworked and overwhelmed. You are rushed and stressed and your days are moving way too fast.
Secretly, behind closed doors, you want a moment to breathe, to pause, to slow down.
But you don’t do it. Because you are afraid. Fear kicks in.
You imagine what will happen when the others pass you, like on the freeway, and reaching the destination before you.
You don’t look important anymore if you don’t have a busy long to-do list.
You are worried that your boss will cross you off the promotion list.
That satisfying feeling of instant gratification might be out the window if you start being patient.
You feel you will miss out on some opportunities if you are not fast enough.
You suffer from our modern symptom FOMO, you are in fear of missing out on fun leisure stuff, on social life, on information flow if you slow down and skip and strip stuff from your calendar.
You slow down and the others will grab your share.
If you pause you might be able to hear your own thoughts, what a scary thing!
You believe that if you rest you are subjected to judgment and disdain.
There are all those scary feelings when you think about slowing down.
And your fear is real because our culture does NOT encourage rest.
We are supposed to be always "on" in one way or another. We are doing stuff, not only because it keeps us busy, but because we want to make and achieve something, make and spend money. Also, we keep going because we want to optimize ourselves or to prove ourselves to others.
To not adhere to that, is scary.
But slowing down doesn’t mean refusing speed.
Slow And Speed Are Like Ying And Yang
We live in a world stuck in fast-forward. We are obsessed with speed.
And we crave some rest.
You need both. Like Ying and Yang, slow and speed complement each other. They are interconnected opposite forces.
You can’t go fast all the time without slowing down in between.
Do you want to be ahead of the curve, and live better, not worse, in a fast-paced, modern world?
The ones that are deliberate and take their time are the ones who stay ahead. Good things happen when you slow down.
That means you want to embrace slowness and not fear it.
„What this young generation needs to learn is patience. Some things that really matter like love, job fulfillment, joy, and self-confidence… all of these things take time. Sometimes you can expedite pieces of it, but the overall journey is arduous and long. And difficult.” – Simon Sinek
Facing Your Fear
The things you fear are usually the very things that you need to do if you want to make your life and work a successful and satisfying journey.
You have somehow internalized that pausing and going slow is not allowed and you only dare to do it secretly.
Fear can stop you from realizing your dreams. Fear paralyzes many people for different reasons.
But you can train your brain to overcome your fear.
Training your brain means that you accept that there's no threat involved and it will help you to switch off the fear response when the next important challenge comes your way.
If you expose yourself to whatever you fear, it loses its power and control over you.
Try to immerse yourself in conscious slowing down for some months.
Pause, before speaking or making a decision.
Go through your calendar very carefully and see what you can say No to. At first, you will think, that none of the stuff filling every inch of your daily planner can be canceled. Think again. Do you REALLY have to go to the neighborhood BBQ, the parent’s school gathering, or to the work meeting?
After a while, the very thing you fear will no longer fear you and that weakness becomes a positive strength.
Serena Williams puts her fears in a bottle. She thinks about fear as an emotion that she bottles up and tosses away when she walks onto the court. For her being fearless is crucial for a successful performance. This amazing tennis player reminds us that even champions experience fear, but they have the mindset and discipline to replace it with confidence when it's time to perform.
Don’t Be Addicted To Speed Because You’re Afraid To Slow Down
You can improve your skill to slow down. A very important work and life skill.
“Short-term wins feel like a demonstration of will by those that seek to be strong. But the only run is the long run. When we embrace flexible, renewable, and diverse approaches, we create actual progress.” - Seth Godin
You have permission to slow down.
Don’t be afraid. You can bottle up your fears and put them on the shelf.
Book Recommendation
All my life I loved books and reading. For my work, I read many books – and there are a LOT I would like to recommend to you. Each Newsletter will include a book recommendation for you.
Quiet Disruptor: Creating Change Without Shouting – by Sue Hetherington
Quiet disruptors are the new change-makers, and they have something to say, even though they are quiet. Sue Hetherington crafted a thoughtful and creative manifesto about the new change-makers: those with the courage to speak softly about things that matter. This book is inspiring, encouraging, and provoking and shows how you can have an impact on everything you want to without having to shout.